These days, I've been drawing a lot (yes, a lot means almost a dozen of sketches), but somehow I don't feel like finish 'em! I just dunno what to do with those papers with pencil lining on them, and they all end up in my briefcase (ok, I made that up--it's only a case in which I often put my drawings and stuffs--handouts from classes). I touch 'em, look at 'em, wanna color 'em... wanna finish 'em.

Probably it's just me and my laziness, me and my ... unwillingness, and me and my confusion. I'm confused, whether to keep 'em as line-arts, or color 'em. Cuz I suck at coloring things TTATT And yes, I dunno which to be done first, which to prioritize... I won't make it on time. It should be done before XMas (because they're all XMas presents; few aren't)... guess I'll make 'em New Year's Gifts or even Valentine's Day presents. Dunno which. Just wait till myself calm down, and less confused XDDD

Twenty Six Words for You
~Desya~

Animate, my world with you inside
Blithe, I am each moment you're around
Crimson, the color of blood I'd shed for you
Distraught, when you're away from me
Endearing, the kisses we share
Futile, the moments I spend without you
Guttural, our moans wafting through night air
Hypocrite, if I say I need you not
Indelible, my thoughts of you
Jaded, not as long as I have you in my life
Kindred, the way I feel about each other
Laudatory, the words I tell you
Myriad, my gratitude for having you here
Nascent, but I know it will last forever
Oblivious, I am to the surroundings
Perpetual, I wish we will be
Quiescent, the sound of your breath as you sleep
Radiant, the smile you always show me
Sedative, for you are my drug
Tortuous, our journey to happiness
Unfathomed, my feeling for you
Vulnerable, so please don't hurt me
Woeful, if you're taken away from me
X, I never want to be your ex
You, the only one I treasure
Zero, my world without you inside


I love you all...!!! XD

Hoh~~ I've been roleplaying lately, and somehow I'm getting preoccupied that I OFTEN SLEEP AT 3-5 a.m. when I have a class at 7 a.m.!!!! I OFTEN wake up with bloodshot eyes: red and swollen becoz I HAVE TO GO RP-ing past midnight!!! Hahaha, silly, silly activity... but I enjoy it anyway, so it doesn't matter, I guess.

Aaaanddd.... to support my RP, I drew a lot of drawings, and they have become my latest entries... Just can't stop my imagination~~~

S**t! I just couldn't draw lately... Hadn't drawn anything yet... Fuhh. Many assignments, many... too many!!!! I don't have time to touch my pencil except for writing... I actually drew HanaKimi characters lately, but I haven't uploaded it ><
Hopefully I can upload it soon [find me a scanner ]

Dear Friends...

I just lost a bestfriend...
UNIQUE [June 18, 1989 - August 15, 2008]

Last time I met her was on July 31, 2008 before going to Jogja. She was in the hospital, weakly lying there on the white sheets. I laughed at her shirt for its silly print [advertisement about wooden works]...
I remember, the last thing I said was, "Tell me if you get better."
And I remember that day when she first saw me, she said, "You look prettier."
I didn't notice it was going to be the last time I saw her... I left the hospital with toughts, "Nothing serious... she'll get better." [my sister experienced that kind of kidney ill few years ago, and she's alright now]

Before her last day, she did things which weren't her habits. She sent me short messages saying good night before sleeping, she also said that we had to meet each other before I went to Jogja... and we did. That day, in the hospital.

I wish I could show her kenchan's S.O.A.P BuBBLe FeSTiVaL concert, Poka, my new squirrel, lend her my new comic books, and other silly things we used to do together...

Though we've known each other closely for only 3 years or so... but for me it's forever.
She's a great friend; a cheerleader. She's hilarious, and a kind of friend you'd always miss the presence...

Things she really likes...[I asked her these on March 2, 2008]
1. Fruits : orange, pear
2. Color : blue
3. Flower : edelweiss [eternal white]
4. Place : beach
5. Movie : romantic comedy; American Pie, Harry Potter, Death Note, Ju-On, etc
6. Dorama : any with bishonen in it! [such as GOKUSEN]
7. Manga : DNAngel, Parfait Tic!
8. Anime : Dragon Ball
9. Male : the good-looking ones!
10. Food : fried rice, martabak

I remember we got here and there together when we were still students of High School.
We sneaked into computer lab, we sang lots of songs such as "niji" your fave Laruku's song, "Feeling Fine", "Link", "Angel's Tale" your favorite HYDE's song, "arittake no ai de" by Gackt, "March 9" our graduation theme... and more...

I couldn't be there when you're gone; I was [and am] beginning to pursue my dream in a faraway land from you... But I'll never be far from you.

Though now you're gone, and no more laughter with you...
I'll keep you here in my heart. I'll move forward, but never leave you, cuz you're with me all the time. I love you, My Dear Friend.